A few years ago I got a fortune in my cookie that I thought I should hold on to. It’s been tucked into a framed photo of my husband and I that I keep on my desk at work.
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
I try to keep reminding myself of this, especially if I’ve been having a bad day. It reminds me to take a few deep breaths and realize work is just work. Sure, it’s important and I try to do my best (after all, I do get paid), but it doesn’t define who I am as a person. Remembering that makes my time so much more enjoyable. By the time I get home to my family, I can tidy up the garden, prepare and eat a nice dinner, and have playtime without worrying about the previous eight hours or the ones that will come tomorrow.
That’s not to say I’m not mentally exhausted by the time I get home — I am. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been having such problems getting real writing done. I have days when I just want to lounge on the sofa all night long. And I do that, but I hold off until after dinner is done and other obligations are taken care of.
It’s true that I want to be more than a mom, but I also want to be more than my job. Having both of those things in mind helps me keep my frustrations in check. My standing Tuesday evening helps too. On Tuesdays I try to keep a date with myself. Sometimes this means I head to a coffee shop to read or write, sometimes it means I run errands on my own, and sometimes I just hang out in the house doing something completely for me. I’ve had Tuesdays since before Reese was born, and I’m so glad I keep doing it. Even if I don’t get any work done, I feel so much better when I get home after immersing myself in the world around me for a few hours.
How do you stop and smell the roses?
Megan, first of all, your photo is lovely. What kind of flower is that?
Second, I think carving out alone time is incredibly important, and your family, and your marriage, and your job I’m sure all benefit from your feeling centered as an individual. I often forget this in the day to day minutiae of my own life, perhaps because I work from home and therefore have a lot of alone time by definition. But busy/working alone time, and restful/charging alone time, are not the same. Thanks for reminding us to value, and make time for, the latter.
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Thank you! It’s a marigold from our garden, but unfortunately I forgot to write down the exact variety when I planted them.
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